ELEGY FOR MY AJJA

He left this world on August 12th, 2024,
They said he passed quietly, not troubling his son,
On a Monday, they told me—people who leave on Mondays
Are said to find their way to heaven.

Always in his kache panje, crisp and clean,
You were so strong, Ajja—witness to a world
That spanned from the dawn of independence
To this age of AI, and yet you never needed glasses,
Still walking with purpose even in your ripe years.

The way you loved your wife—how I dreamed
Of a love like that, of living a life as full as yours.
But today, a heavy monsoon morning,
The rain outside matched the misery in my heart,
And I never imagined that grief would flood my soul like this.

You were a part of my whole childhood—
Those dolls, those sweets, the delicious snacks
You saved and brought home from different shops,
Your quiet acts of love I never fully understood
Until now, as an adult, I cry for you, for your absence.

Will you ever forgive me, Ajja,
For not being there, for not seeing your lifeless body,
For not calling you on the days I should have?
If I had known that the day before yesterday
Was our last, I would never have ended that call.

Now I plant all my memories like seeds,
Trying to water them with the tears of my regret.
How I wish for just one more minute,
To hear your voice, to ask about your day
When you were right in front of me, why didn’t I?

Will you ever forgive me, Ajja,
For the missed moments, the unspoken words?
Your smile that I always adored now haunts me,
Echoing in my dreams, a reminder of all I failed to do.

Will you ever forgive me, my dearest Ajja?